“This is who i am… Can you just accept it…?”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم…

اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين…

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته…

It’s been a very long time since my last update, which the normal typical reason is ‘i’m busy with more important things in life..’ Hªhªªhªªªhªªªª 😂😂 

Many thoughts had came since then, but I just kept it to myself, without writing it at any place. Gladly, today I have time to write since my wife is spending her time with her friend, at her grandparents’s house, which I’m ‘willingly’ followed her here..

Something came slipped in my mind when i do my usual ‘human browsing’ at the mall here. I’ve noticed that some behavior, or the way people interact to others is slightly, or maybe huge different, depending on the place itself. Meaning that, how the person had become depending on how he/she was nutured during his/her upbringing. This also influenced by the place the grew up itelf.

The most obvious indicator that I’ve come to noticed is the rythm or intonation when he/she speaks. That’s why we can recognize or know where some people are from just by listening when he/she’s speaks.

But the most interesting things is how he/she reacted, or interected, in certain situations. This kind or reaction cannot be taught directly, but human being usually learnt it by ‘copy and paste’ from the person he/she look up at, i.e his/her parents.

That’s why there is and old saying ‘If you want to know a certain girl, take a look at her parents..’ Not just she inherited their physically, but also appearance, behaviour, attitude, way of thinking, and much more, which those things were ‘copied’ without she noticed it.

Some are good in other’s eyes, and some are bad, depending on how other’s interpretation.

When that sort of things are slightly or majorly different from the person they interacted with, there will be some dispute, or argument, which each of them insisting that they are right, and he/she’s wrong.

And most cliche sentence will be ‘This is who i am.. Please accepted me as the way i am..’

But then, the other person also react or thing or do the way he/she always did, and that kind of argument won’t reach its solution.

The most suitable way is to just accept the differences, and control our ego, when there are lots of differences in all of those things mentioned before, as long as it won’t harm it physically or mentally.

Sometimes, we might have the best approach es or solutions, but it does not mean that other’s approaches/solutions are wrong.

Learn to accept by controlling our ego, InsyaAllah, our life will be more at peace..


…….بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

…..الحَمْد لله ….والصلاة والسلام علي رسول الله وعلي اله وصحبه أجمعين

Living in this world, we will face many ups and down..

There won’t be the days that only be filled with happiness, and free without things that will messing up our mind, and our soul…

We will make mistakes.. Lots of it.. And we are sinners…

But then, how do we face this kind of situation?

By repentant…

we are just a creations.. Created and bounded by the devine plan of The Mighty Creator.. And He is The Most Generous and The Most Mercifull, which to Him and only Him we shall submitted..

We should repeant and believe in His Merciness.. Hope is still there, as long as we still breathing..

“When there’s rain, there shall rise the calming and soothing light from the sky afterwards…”

Just keep on praying and keep positive.. Leave the rest to His Devine Plan..



Is this LOVE??

…….بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

…..الحَمْد لله ….والصلاة والسلام علي رسول الله وعلي اله وصحبه أجمعين

It’s been a really long time since i last update my post… Many things had happen… To cut it short, a dear friend of mine introduce me to a girl… A really nice girl, with a really good background.. Great attitude, great appearance, great family, and for most, she is like an angel to me…

She’s too perfect in my eyes, in my point of view… At first, I was afraid… So afraid to get to know her.. Why? I’m still wondering why was I afraid… Maybe because of previous relationship that did not turn out so well, which made me afraid, that it will turn out the way it used to be…

Or maybe because I’m afraid of myself, that I got nothing to offered her, to ensure her happiness, her needs and so on.. Which I was always thinking of myself before this, and never think ahead.. Whatever will happen, it will be only me to bare the consequences, but if thing goes smoothly, I’m afraid that I’ll ruined her life… That’s also came out of my mind…

I’ve spent sometime to think… What or why exactly things before this always turn out wrong… Hurt? Maybe at a first, but as time goes, I’ve learnt to move on… Which was a good experienced for me… I learnt a lot from my mistakes..

Finally, I’ve come to a conclusion, where I decided to follow my brother advise, which is;

“No matter how good the girl we decided to choose, never proceed further if mama have a bad feelings about our relationship. Always believe in mama’s instinct…”

And so I did…. I shared with my mom few photos of her, and she seems to like her from the photos… That’s a good sign for me… So, with the name of Allah, I just go with the flow….

Everything went out smoothly.. She went to see my family, and I also did the same.. Well, it turn out seriously well…. Alhamdulillah…. InsyaAllah, by next year, she will be my queen….

The more I get to know her, the more I found out how deeply I love her… She’s really fill the hole inside me… The one that complete me….

But then…… Every moment, I always felt afraid… Afraid that I will guide her to the wrong path… Afraid that I might not be the best person she hoping me to be… Afraid that I will break her heart…… Every day since we knew each other, I’ll thought of that sorts of fear….

Ya Allah…. She is to good to me…. Far to good to me…. Sometimes, I felt like it is a really big mountain that I have to carry… A pure diamond that I have to take care of….. But, just hearing her voice, that weight just lifted away….

With her, I learnt how to control myself… My temper… My lust… My eagerness.. My ego……

True love is when we love someone, without hoping something in return…. No selfishness…. Just do everything or anything, to make that person happy and safe…. That’s what I keep on telling myself….

Will I capable of doing that?

Will I capable of loving her in the righteous way?

Will I be able to guide her to the heaven?

I don’t know…. But all I can do is just try my best as a ‘ikhtiar’, and leave the rest to Allah, as He is the one controlling everything…..

May Allah bless our relationship, and keep us from ashtray…..

May Allah bless our families with Taufiq and Hidayah….

May Allah ease our marriage, if we are meant to be together….




بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم…….

It’s been such a while since my last post.. Been busy experiencing new things in my life.. I’ve just finished pitching for the dramas that I’ve made myself this morning.. Quite new experienced I’ve gained.. Really exciting too..

My syeikh gave me an advised to recite surah Al-Quraish 21 times before pitching, and I did.. MasyaAllah, it’s work out so well.. The film producer told me that, she never expected the juries, or panels or whatever they were called, would be so chilled and cool.. We had an amazing and relaxing session during the pitching sesion..


She did offered me to be her assosiate film producer, and I told her, I will try my best cause it is something new for me.. Totally different from engineering’s career!

Currently, I’m in state of mujahaad with my own nafs.. Anything happen, I just pray that I will never go ashtray again…

I don’t want to lose this sort of calmness… Hoping that it will be endless… The feelings of hopeless as a servant to Allah.. And will always repent whenever I do wrong…

بسم الله الذي لا يضر مع اسمه شيء في الأرض ولا في السماءوهوالسميع العلم

Meanings, In the name of Allah, with Whose name nothing can cause harm on earth or in the heavens and He is The All-Hearer, The All-Knowing. (Abu-Dawud)

The state of positive mind will always give us positive thought regarding everything that happen, either it is good or bad according to our judgement.. Believing that if anything bad happen, there will always be hidden message within it, and good things will always come around after that.. Even if it is bad for me, it might be good to someone else..

InsyaAllah.. Hopefully this state of calmness will last, cause only Him can granted that to us, human being…

Will try to update later on for some interesting topics!



“Cheap talk at the coffee shop….”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم…..

Few days before, I had a conversation with my ex-boss.. My company leads by 3 bosses, and 1 of them decide to migrate to Aussie, so only 2 more left.. So, before we separated, me and him had our last breakfast nearby the office.. We often have our breakfast together, talk about things, sharing ideas or knowledge and so on..

So…. on that day, he shared with me regarding his kid, which have an Asperger’s Syndrome.. I never herd about this things, so he shared what he knows about it..

Asperger’s Syndrome is some sort of development disorder, which some of the kids have.. They seems to have some trouble in learning few basic tasks.. My boss told me that his son have trouble in reading the face expression, for example when people are showing uneasy face, he just can’t read it.. That kid also has a problem in socializing, and motor systems.. Don’t want to elaborate more on that stuff, which we can find a better specialist, or website that can tell us more info for that.. 😀 😀

Now, what I find amused and keen to share with is regarding how my boss dealt with this matter.. At first, he and his wife does not realized that his son have this problems.. In fact, his son seems like a genius.. There’s one time, when he and his wife had a some sort of competition between them.. They listen to some Chinese Philosophy’s Poem, which have around 50 verse, and tried to remembered it.. Which one got the most correct in certain duration, will be the winner.. I found that, this is a good way to spent with my future wife later on…!

So… When the time comes for them to test their skills in memorizing, both of them unable to remember all the 50 verse, and they stop at certain verse.. Suddenly, their 2 years old’s son continued from where they stop, and fluently finishing the remaining verse.. That kid remembered every single words of it!!

When that kid started to grow up, he showed seems different compared to other kids.. He had trouble in getting along with other kids at his age.. Why? There are 2 reasons which can be separated into good and not so good..

  1. He develop his interest in Dinosaurs, and love everything about them.. He even read the researches, encyclopedias, university’s level text book and so on, just to know more about them (Dinosaurs).. He is an expert in everything regarding Dinosaurs, and he even critics the latest Jurassic World Movie, which he found out that there are many wrong facts in that movie..
  2. Because of his interest, when he plays with with kids around his age, he ‘showered’ them with these knowledge he has, making other kids kinda keep a distance from him.. But, he does not know that they don’t like it.. He can’t read that kind of reaction people gave.

So, my boss and his wife spent a lot of time researching, do some readings, which is kinda hard at that time since the internet is not like nowdays…. They even asked for help from their siblings to buy some books in US..

After done some research by themselves, they diagnosed the problem the son had was Asperger Syndrome.. So, they refer to the specialist for confirmations… After the specialist also come out with the same conclusion, they started the rehab to improve what their son seems to lack of..

The son then went to normal Chinese’s school, and attending the normal classes like other kids when he started to get better.. But then, my boss faced 1 more challenge.. The son seems to have different way of thinking, which he started to do things on his own way, rather than do what he asked to do by the teachers.. The teachers also told my boss’s wife to prevent that kid from do anymore readings, and just focus on the school works.. The imaginations, the creativity of that kid had slowly been erased because he had to do so..

So, when I herd his story, It brought my mind to a talk delivered by Sir Ken Robinson on “Do school kill creativity?”

I think, what Sir Ken shared was extremely accurate and correct! But, I would like to make it more precise, as it not just school that kills the creativity, but the community did..

In Malaysia, there are some kind of perceptions that is similar to all the citizens, which is the levels, or hierarchy of the occupations defined the status of the person itself..  For example, comparing mechanics to doctors, the doctors will have more respect and  will be look upon more compared to mechanics.. They assumed that the doctors are more educated, got more pay, and valued more than mechanics.. Even the parents will ask their kids, “Study hard so that you can be a doctor!” not “Study hard so that you can be a mechanics!”.. There are many types of de-motivated actions or words usually used, but I’m not gonna elaborate more in this post.. Maybe next time… 😉

The education’s system also drive us towards of being these so-called high levels people (or occupations).. Which student got better results in test will sit on the so-called success student’s classes.. Which student not doing so well in class will be ‘rejected’ to lower classes… What is the point of educations, if we differentiate a person who got better result will be in good class, who not doing so well will be put in lower class? From what I understand, educations should be equal, and the problems one should get more attention rather than the excellent students… I know how it felt when a student was being drove away due to not performed to the system’s standard…

This kind of perceptions, this kind of thinking can be change if we accept the facts that every human on earth might have its own way of doing things, and have individual skills.. Special on its own way… Not just forcing them to do something like we do, or something we WANT TO DO.. That is even worst if we trying to push them to achieve what we can’t..

learning can be anywhere, anytime

learning can be anywhere, anytime

Segala ilmu adalah terkandung dalam Al Quran Al Karim… Ini panduan kita, ini asas kita, ini pegangan kita.. Seharusnya diterapkan asas agama bermula dari kecil, supaya pegangan itu yang boleh dibawa sehingga ke tua… Anak-anak kecil senang untuk menghafal, mengingati… tanamkan ingatan yang bersyariat, dan mengingati tatacara dan akhlak yang mula sejak dari kecil.. Akhlak adalah suatu yang tidak dapat diajar dengan lidah, melainkan dilaksanakan dengan anggota sebagai ikutan yang lain…

Berkata Syeikh Rohimuddin Al Bantani, mendidik anak-anak adalah umpama mendidik nafsu.. Jika kita gagal mendidik nafsu, kemungkinan kita akan gagal mendidik anak-anak kita..

Paksaan dalam Agama adalah WAJIB, dan ‘paksaan’ disini boleh bermain dalam 2 keadaan, samaada keadaan lembut, ataupun keras.. Paksaan keras adalah secara arahan dalam bentuk lisan, atau mungkin digunakan anggota sebagai peringatan, namun paksaan lembut yang jarang orang lakukan..

Apakah paksaan lembut??

Paksaan lembut adalah didikan dan tunjuk ajar yang bertalu-talu secara tidak langsung kepada individu.. ‘Mengarah’ manusia untuk menurut kehendak kita tanpa kita mengeluarkan arahan.. Menggunakan ‘subconscious mind’ of a person itself..Itu yang ramai orang tidak tahu…. Contoh yang senang untuk melihat didikan secara berterusan dan paksaan secara lembut ini adalah melalui filem, atau drama, atau yang berkenaan.. Secara tidak langsung, apa yang dipaparkan, baik dari sudut perbuatan mahupun idealogi, dapat kita terima, sedangkan ‘sang penyampai’ tidak memaksa kita pun untuk menurutnya…

Jadi….. I’ve lost the point of what I’m about to write right here… hahahaha… Hope everything will be benefits to us….